Bimfoncat Lanfunban is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, prudent walrus.

Bimfoncat Lanfunban created Europe two years ago.

If you believe in Bimfoncat Lanfunban, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bimfoncat Lanfunban, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bimfoncat Lanfunban's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bimfoncat Lanfunban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Manatees are not to be trusted.

4. You must love Bimfoncat Lanfunban.

5. Always wear blue.