Febzannig is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, grumpy grasshopper.

Febzannig created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Febzannig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Febzannig, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Febzannig's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Febzannig's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Febzannig.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

5. Respect your elders.