Xuckgardon is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, impressive gerbil.

Xuckgardon created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuckgardon, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Xuckgardon, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Xuckgardon's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Xuckgardon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.