Volsisdan is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, self-assured gorilla.

Volsisdan created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Volsisdan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Volsisdan, she will turn you into a mouse.

Volsisdan's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Volsisdan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick geese.

2. Never skip in the presence of goats.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Volsisdan.

4. Always help moths.

5. Never pour water over plants.