Cimvognell is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, all-knowing alligator.

Cimvognell created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimvognell, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cimvognell, he will turn you into a hamster.

Cimvognell's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Cimvognell's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of pineapples to porpoises while wearing red tights.

2. Always obey Cimvognell's priests.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Feed all hungry goats.

5. Retreat if eight grasshopers approach from the west.