Fengovbim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unthoughtful dolphin.

Fengovbim created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fengovbim, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fengovbim, it will turn you into a rat.

Fengovbim's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Fengovbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy.

2. You must never eat corn.

3. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. Never talk about special relativity near great tits while wearing white shorts.