Dosslagcem is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, compassionate goat.

Dosslagcem created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dosslagcem, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dosslagcem, she will turn you into a dog.

Dosslagcem's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Dosslagcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near hamsters while wearing purple shirts and balancing four lead spheres on your back.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Dosslagcem on top of all buildings.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never chant in the presence of tortoises.