Yarlarpcedqueegwapcemhottig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, loving manatee.

Yarlarpcedqueegwapcemhottig created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlarpcedqueegwapcemhottig, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarlarpcedqueegwapcemhottig, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yarlarpcedqueegwapcemhottig's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Yarlarpcedqueegwapcemhottig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of spinach to great tits while wearing gray boots.

2. You must pray to Yarlarpcedqueegwapcemhottig eight times a day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never talk about galaxies.