Begtadkar is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless wombat.

Begtadkar created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begtadkar, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Begtadkar, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Begtadkar's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Begtadkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never wear brown scarves.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.