Getnutnell is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, bad-tempered gerbil.

Getnutnell created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Getnutnell, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Getnutnell, she will turn you into a worm.

Getnutnell's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Getnutnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

2. Worship no other gods but Getnutnell.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Getnutnell in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near dogs while wearing pink coats and balancing seven zinc spheres on your legs.