Stanlargdad is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unselfish lobster.

Stanlargdad created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanlargdad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stanlargdad, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Stanlargdad's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Stanlargdad's Holy Commandments

1. Stanlargdad loves otters, so they must be respected.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Always help sick ants.

5. Never paint your back green.