Vankikmil is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, conceited crocodile.

Vankikmil created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vankikmil, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vankikmil, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Vankikmil's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Vankikmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Never mention doves.

3. Never run near capybaras.

4. Never feed wheat to pigs while wearing violet coats.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.