Gadtabbed is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, effective pigeon.

Gadtabbed created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gadtabbed, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gadtabbed, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gadtabbed's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gadtabbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Never think ill of sick snails.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Hide from brown rats for they are unholy.

5. Put Gadtabbed first in all things.