Yarldavmidjan is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless wombat.

Yarldavmidjan created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarldavmidjan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yarldavmidjan, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yarldavmidjan's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Yarldavmidjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your neck with mauve markings.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never eat pineapples.

5. Do not speak about carrots.