Cudfabkik is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, temperamental pig.

Cudfabkik created an electron two million years ago.

If you believe in Cudfabkik, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cudfabkik, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cudfabkik's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Cudfabkik's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry manatees.

2. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near mites while wearing brown dresses.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Retreat if three tapirs approach from the north.