Fodarfhog is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, compassionate raccoon.

Fodarfhog created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodarfhog, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fodarfhog, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Fodarfhog's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Fodarfhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near whales while wearing red jumpers and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your back.

2. Run away if five snails approach from the east.

3. Feed all hungry mites.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Hide from fawn aardvarks for they are unholy.