Likbomweg is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, all-knowing octopus.

Likbomweg created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Likbomweg, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Likbomweg, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Likbomweg's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Likbomweg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Likbomweg in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never hurt geese.

3. You must pray to Likbomweg seven times a day.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Run away if six porpoises approach from the north.