Yik is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless dog.

Yik created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yik, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yik, he will turn you into a puffin.

Yik's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Yik's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about special relativity near monkeys while wearing yellow stockings and balancing three zinc spheres on your chest.