Dutnuljan is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, narcissistic cat.

Dutnuljan created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutnuljan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dutnuljan, she will turn you into a snail.

Dutnuljan's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Dutnuljan's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.