Bedfudtab is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, witty raven.

Bedfudtab created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedfudtab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bedfudtab, she will turn you into a plant.

Bedfudtab's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bedfudtab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about special relativity near cats while wearing red ear rings and balancing three lead spheres on your chest.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Do not commit murder.