Handussascep Gubkapbess Honsogpig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage bat.

Handussascep Gubkapbess Honsogpig created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Handussascep Gubkapbess Honsogpig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Handussascep Gubkapbess Honsogpig, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Handussascep Gubkapbess Honsogpig's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Handussascep Gubkapbess Honsogpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always help doves.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.