Cemzogdib is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, benevolent dingo.

Cemzogdib created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemzogdib, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cemzogdib, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cemzogdib's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Cemzogdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

3. Do not kill dogs.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.