Dobsasjab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, dishonest narwhal.

Dobsasjab created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobsasjab, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dobsasjab, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dobsasjab's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Dobsasjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Dobsasjab in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never cross mountains at dusk.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Do not hurt moths.