Sashivponyam is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic dryad.

Sashivponyam created Africa six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sashivponyam, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sashivponyam, she will turn you into a mole.

Sashivponyam's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Sashivponyam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Sashivponyam in the centre of the settlement.

2. Sashivponyam loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Run away if nine tortoises approach from the north.

5. Hide if eight mice approach from the south.