Wapkamvog Armkanlip is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, selfish rhinoceros.

Wapkamvog Armkanlip created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapkamvog Armkanlip, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wapkamvog Armkanlip, he will turn you into a tree.

Wapkamvog Armkanlip's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Wapkamvog Armkanlip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange swans, for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never wear fawn shoes.

5. Always help sick geese.