Mumtablist is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, boastful cat.

Mumtablist created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumtablist, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Mumtablist, she will jump up and down on your head.

Mumtablist's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Mumtablist's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Put Mumtablist first in all things.

4. Never think about gravity near shrews while wearing mauve scarves and balancing four tin spheres on your arms.

5. Never laugh near manatees.