Jadbentik is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, omniscient crow.

Jadbentik created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jadbentik, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jadbentik, it will think nothing of it.

Jadbentik's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Jadbentik's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not take Jadbentik's name in vain.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not skip in public.