Tettikopnak is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid bat.

Tettikopnak created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettikopnak, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tettikopnak, he will turn you into a mole.

Tettikopnak's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tettikopnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Tettikopnak loves rats, so they must be respected.

4. Run away if five whales approach from the west.

5. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.