Quartgubbap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, uncaring cat.

Quartgubbap created the Milkyway two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartgubbap, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quartgubbap, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Quartgubbap's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Quartgubbap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Retreat if six dogs approach from the east.

4. Hide if five nematodes approach from the south.

5. You must pray to Quartgubbap nine times a day.