Gatyatgab is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, charitable lizard.

Gatyatgab created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatyatgab, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gatyatgab, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gatyatgab's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Gatyatgab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Do not eat cherries.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Do not chop down trees.