Tikfutcat is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, intelligent jaguar.

Tikfutcat created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tikfutcat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tikfutcat, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tikfutcat's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Tikfutcat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. Always pray immersed in water.