Sanjaphak Pidtimgem is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, wise weasel.

Sanjaphak Pidtimgem created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sanjaphak Pidtimgem, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sanjaphak Pidtimgem, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Sanjaphak Pidtimgem's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Sanjaphak Pidtimgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always treat eagles with great respect.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sanjaphak Pidtimgem.

5. Never talk about black holes.