Fligbomvenfemhabbodwik is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, caring cow.

Fligbomvenfemhabbodwik created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligbomvenfemhabbodwik, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fligbomvenfemhabbodwik, she will turn you into a worm.

Fligbomvenfemhabbodwik's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fligbomvenfemhabbodwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five rats in a large pit.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near geese while wearing violet boots and balancing eight titanium spheres on your neck.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Always look after injured porpoises.

5. Respect your elders.