Lunkonhon is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, idiotic goat.

Lunkonhon created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lunkonhon, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lunkonhon, it will turn you into a mouse.

Lunkonhon's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Lunkonhon's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about optics near sheep while wearing purple corsets.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Lunkonhon loves frogs, so they must be respected.