Gofsinvid is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, merciless aardvark.

Gofsinvid created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofsinvid, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofsinvid, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gofsinvid's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gofsinvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near horses while wearing orange jumpers.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

5. Never think about dark energy near frogs while wearing brown kilts and balancing nine zinc spheres on your face.