Jamhubved is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unthinking goose.

Jamhubved created the Milkyway eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamhubved, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jamhubved, she will strike you with lightening.

Jamhubved's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Jamhubved's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not listen to music.