Bumjop is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unfair pigeon.

Bumjop created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Bumjop, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bumjop, she will refuse to believe in you.

Bumjop's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bumjop's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bumjop.

5. Never mention turtles.