Bidtennell is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, ill-tempered mole.

Bidtennell created the Sombrero Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidtennell, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bidtennell, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bidtennell's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bidtennell's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention doves.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.