Fomfabkan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, passionate zebra.

Fomfabkan created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomfabkan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fomfabkan, she will turn you into a dog.

Fomfabkan's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Fomfabkan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Feed all hungry seals.

3. Fomfabkan loves swans, so they must be respected.

4. Mice are not to be trusted.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.