Cudweelin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, impressive rat.

Cudweelin created the universe six million years ago.

If you believe in Cudweelin, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cudweelin, he will turn you into a snail.

Cudweelin's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Cudweelin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near pigs while wearing orange shirts and balancing six carbon spheres on your arms.

2. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

3. Cudweelin loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not chop down trees.