Hitkensid is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, compassionate giraffe.

Hitkensid created Africa five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitkensid, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hitkensid, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Hitkensid's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Hitkensid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Erect four zinc sculptures of Hitkensid on top of important buildings.

4. Never skip near monkeys.

5. Hide if three turtles approach from the west.