Wikgessrut is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, omniscient hamster.

Wikgessrut created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikgessrut, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wikgessrut, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wikgessrut's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Wikgessrut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Wikgessrut loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never feed coconuts to pigs while wearing magenta tights.