Sabvigstik is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, ill-tempered crab.

Sabvigstik created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Sabvigstik, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sabvigstik, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Sabvigstik's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Sabvigstik's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never record names.

3. Run away if eight turtles approach from the east.

4. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

5. Do not resist order.