Donlatyarptonknilcam is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unjust aardvark.

Donlatyarptonknilcam created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Donlatyarptonknilcam, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Donlatyarptonknilcam, it will have a low opinion of you.

Donlatyarptonknilcam's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Donlatyarptonknilcam's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Donlatyarptonknilcam.

4. Never think ill of sick pigs.

5. Worship no other gods but Donlatyarptonknilcam.