Citjabsan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, happy dove.

Citjabsan created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Citjabsan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Citjabsan, he will turn you into a rock.

Citjabsan's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Citjabsan's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat strawberries.

2. Do not chant at forests.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near mites while wearing yellow skirts and balancing five iron spheres on your legs.