Fabxuctetti is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, humorless porpoise.

Fabxuctetti created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabxuctetti, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Fabxuctetti, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Fabxuctetti's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Fabxuctetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt badgers.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Never wear shirts.