Sakteenlop is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, uncaring fairy.

Sakteenlop created the world nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakteenlop, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sakteenlop, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sakteenlop's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Sakteenlop's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry swans.

2. Erect a giant red sculpture of Sakteenlop in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sakteenlop.

5. Never wear orange jumpers.