Fetvabpodfidmonkabcebhat Pinfebbeg Gonsabmut is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fussy otter.

Fetvabpodfidmonkabcebhat Pinfebbeg Gonsabmut created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetvabpodfidmonkabcebhat Pinfebbeg Gonsabmut, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fetvabpodfidmonkabcebhat Pinfebbeg Gonsabmut, she will boil you in a big pot.

Fetvabpodfidmonkabcebhat Pinfebbeg Gonsabmut's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fetvabpodfidmonkabcebhat Pinfebbeg Gonsabmut's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown voles, for they are unholy.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Remain kneeling during prayer.

4. Never paint your face gray.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.