Tailnab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome yak.

Tailnab created the Sunflower Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailnab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tailnab, he will turn you into a frog.

Tailnab's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Tailnab's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tailnab nine times a day.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Worship no other gods but Tailnab.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Never think about special relativity near snakes while wearing indigo shoes and balancing eight nickel spheres on your feet.