Basslantaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, overgenerous grasshopper.

Basslantaf created silver two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Basslantaf, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Basslantaf, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Basslantaf's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Basslantaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always look after injured cats.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Basslantaf.