Popnakflat is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, merciful porpoise.

Popnakflat created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Popnakflat, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Popnakflat, it will laugh at you.

Popnakflat's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Popnakflat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near pigs while wearing pink jumpers and balancing nine silver spheres on your back.

5. Always look after injured monkeys.