Flanbepxen is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, merciless dog.

Flanbepxen created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flanbepxen, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flanbepxen, he will turn you into a puffin.

Flanbepxen's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Flanbepxen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six silicon sculptures of Flanbepxen on top of important buildings.

2. Never hurt dogs.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Hide if four monkeys approach from the north.

5. Always look after injured seals.